Define "chronic" masturbator.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
