I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
