Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
