My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
