If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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