I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize