these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
