my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
