Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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