I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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