who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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