I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
