Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
