So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
