They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
