I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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