My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize