you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
