I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
