If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
