Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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