he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
