I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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