There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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