small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
