Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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