I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
