Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
