no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
