I feel like I'm in dance class right now
thus making me awesome and them whores
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
