There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
