I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
