Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
