Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
