Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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