I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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