Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
