So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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