Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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