honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
