And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
