I wish I only lived at night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize