You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
