and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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