SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
