Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
