Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
