dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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