O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
