Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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