so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
