drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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