My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
