maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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