just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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