Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
