At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize