'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
