carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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