Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no you cant smoke seaweed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
