Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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