i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
