It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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