at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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