and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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