She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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