R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
